Again, the language we use to describe our sexual gratification plays an important role. Does a bottom ‘receive’ or do they ‘take’? To push this idea further, the submissive in a kink relationship has the ultimate power over the sexual play taking place. They are the one setting boundaries, expressing what they want, and having a safe word. When all is said and done, they are the decision-maker in the bedroom. The fun comes from pretending that they are not in charge at all.