This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, filled with holiday and Christmas good cheer, giving and receiving and all that stuff. But for an addicted regifter like me, the whole idea of gifts fills me with shame and anxiety. Even though I came clean and outed myself in a 2014 a Vogue story seven years ago, I still just can’t help myself—the urge is always there.
So this year I wracked my brain to come up with a list of things I’d love to get, that are guaranteed re-gift proof. When I mentioned this to my friend Alison, she said anything monogrammed can’t be given away. However, that never stopped me. Sam, another friend, suggested a washer-dryer. Granted, that would be awkward, but in the end, it’s just another object that I’d find a way to regift. When I told Tad, my husband who knows my addiction better than anyone, he suggested a soufflé, because it would have to be eaten on the spot. I’ve never had the urge to give him away, but, oh dear, I can think of so many ladies who would just love to receive him.
I should point out that it’s not only Christmas presents I regift or take back, it’s any present. I took back the engagement ring he gave me, and got another. When I mentioned my addiction to my editor, she made me feel better when she said regifting is very eco-friendly. So here are some things that should keep me honest.
A platinum AmEx cards, designed by Julie Mehretu or Kehinde Wylie.
A visit to Joel Kassimir, the artist dermatologist who can sculpt any face using needles so thin (33 gauge) they can’t be felt. DaVinci’s triangle is his guide, and the result is a pleasing heart-shaped face instead of the usual clumpy apple.
Anything by Jasper Johns or Simone Leigh.
A donation to Save the Elephants.
A dress by Duro Olowu.
Vermeer’s Concert or Rembrandt’s Lady and Gentleman in Black, two of the thirteen works of art stolen nearly 32 years ago from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the planet’s largest unsolved art heist. I couldn’t pass those on without going to jail.